Once upon a time there were two friends.
One day they came upon a gigantic toilet, filled with pee
While they were gazing upon the gigantic toilet, one friend pushed the other in.
The friend fell in and swam to the surface.
The other friend, looking down at his friend swimming in the pee, yelled down to him "GROSS!!!! LOOK HOW DEEP UR-INE!!"
Sunday, July 25, 2010
Friday, July 23, 2010
Day 8: Internet Friend
Dear Internet Friend,
I don't have one of you. But maybe it would be cool to. Anyways, I don't have anything to say to you. Maybe we could become friends in real life one day.
I don't have one of you. But maybe it would be cool to. Anyways, I don't have anything to say to you. Maybe we could become friends in real life one day.
Thursday, July 22, 2010
Day 7: Past Crush
Dear Annie,
You were the biggest crush I've ever had and the longest too. All the way from after I met you until the middle of sophomore year. You know how we went to the first two winter formals together? I thought we were gonna go to all 4 together and both proms too. I honestly didn't know who I'd rather go with. I'm not sure how you ever felt about me cus I could never get straight words out of you but now it doesn't really matter. I'm happy that I can say that we never had a bad falling out or anything. I guess I just moved on. I found true love (:. I wish the same for you too. You're a pretty, smart, and sweet girl and anyone guy would be lucky to have you. We're always going to be good friends and I'm always gonna be there for you.
You were the biggest crush I've ever had and the longest too. All the way from after I met you until the middle of sophomore year. You know how we went to the first two winter formals together? I thought we were gonna go to all 4 together and both proms too. I honestly didn't know who I'd rather go with. I'm not sure how you ever felt about me cus I could never get straight words out of you but now it doesn't really matter. I'm happy that I can say that we never had a bad falling out or anything. I guess I just moved on. I found true love (:. I wish the same for you too. You're a pretty, smart, and sweet girl and anyone guy would be lucky to have you. We're always going to be good friends and I'm always gonna be there for you.
Wednesday, July 21, 2010
Day 6: Stranger
Dear Stranger,
You don't know me. That's pretty much a given. Maybe you see me around. I hope I've made a good first impression on you. Probably not. I'm a pretty embarassing kid. Feel free to judge me. I don't really mind what other people think about me. I'm sure once you get to know me you'll change your mind. You can really judge me then. I hope I haven't annoyed you or pissed you off. If I have it hasn't been intentional. I hope we can be friends someday. That'd be cool. Then instead of being a part of the group of people for this letter, you could have one of your own! Just talk to me. I'll talk back
You don't know me. That's pretty much a given. Maybe you see me around. I hope I've made a good first impression on you. Probably not. I'm a pretty embarassing kid. Feel free to judge me. I don't really mind what other people think about me. I'm sure once you get to know me you'll change your mind. You can really judge me then. I hope I haven't annoyed you or pissed you off. If I have it hasn't been intentional. I hope we can be friends someday. That'd be cool. Then instead of being a part of the group of people for this letter, you could have one of your own! Just talk to me. I'll talk back
Tuesday, July 20, 2010
Day 5: My Dreams
Dear dreams,
I don't know what you mean by dreams. My sleeping dreams or my future dreams? I'll write to both. Dear sleeping dreams. I don't usually remember you guys. Sorry. It's not that you're not important to me, it's just that I don't figgin remember you guys for some odd reason. sorry. The last dream I remember, I got killed by an atomic bomb. So maybe it's for the better that I don't remember you guys.
Dear future dreams. You're kind of unclear right now. Lemme just throw out some of you. In the future I don't want to be the kind of guy who works and works and works all through school and finally gets a good job and is successful all so that he he can make alot of money for himself to have the financial security for himself and his family. Don't get me wrong. I definitely want to be able to make money so that me and my family will never have to worry about having enough money.
But at the same time I don't want to have a life soley centered around money making. Money isn't everything. Backtrack a little. From the start our parents have pushed us into working hard in school. Work hard in school they say. Get a good education. Go to a good college. Use all of that to get a good job. Be succesful and make alot of money. Ultimately what do they want for us?
Ultimately they want us to, with this financial security and wealth, to be able to pursue our interests and lead happy lives. But suppose we don't spend all that time spending every possible minute hitting the books hard. Suppose we take the time in our lives to leave it all behind and just spend time having fun.. to be happy. Sounds weird huh. But if you think about it, all our parents want for us in the end is to be happy. But if we spend the time we could be using to study instead to take the time to enjoy life and be happy, aren't we achieiving the same end? Just through different means.
Ok I got really sidetracked. I digress. What I was trying to say is, to spend all that time in school only to grow up with the single purpose of making money for myself seems to me like a very selfish lifestyle. I recognize that it's the accepted view for most everybody out there and that it's basically the norm, but I honestly think it's at least a little bit selfish. I mean we work all those years to go to work for ourselves and our dearly beloved. Only those who are really succesful ever help out anyone else. And so my dream for the future is not to have a job where I make loads and loads of money. My dream for the future is to do something where every day of my life I have an opportunity to change someone else's life for the better. That's my idea of a productive life. I mean money will never ever buy you happiness. But by giving someone else happiness, they give some of it back to you. And that's the most priceless thing ever.
I guess that sounds kinda corny. Whatever I'll admit it, I'm a corny guy. Deal with it. What inspires me the most about leading a life to help others is that anyone can do it. It doesn't take brains. It doesn't matter if you scored a 2400 on your SAT or if you had a 5.0 GPA and was valedictorian of the world. It doesn't take any talent, skill, or brains to show compassion to another human being, to be willing to work hard for someone else's sake. All it takes is open ears and a willing heart. That is a big part of my dream.
I would also like to be someday happily married. And I would die after my wife, or at the same time, because I would promise never to leave her and I would never break that promise. I would want us to always be happy and to raise our kids well and teach them right about what's actually important in life. I want to someday be old and look back on my life and be completely absolutely content with it. I feel like that feeling of absolute acceptance and content would be the most amazing in the world. That would be true happiness. That would be my dream.
I don't know what you mean by dreams. My sleeping dreams or my future dreams? I'll write to both. Dear sleeping dreams. I don't usually remember you guys. Sorry. It's not that you're not important to me, it's just that I don't figgin remember you guys for some odd reason. sorry. The last dream I remember, I got killed by an atomic bomb. So maybe it's for the better that I don't remember you guys.
Dear future dreams. You're kind of unclear right now. Lemme just throw out some of you. In the future I don't want to be the kind of guy who works and works and works all through school and finally gets a good job and is successful all so that he he can make alot of money for himself to have the financial security for himself and his family. Don't get me wrong. I definitely want to be able to make money so that me and my family will never have to worry about having enough money.
But at the same time I don't want to have a life soley centered around money making. Money isn't everything. Backtrack a little. From the start our parents have pushed us into working hard in school. Work hard in school they say. Get a good education. Go to a good college. Use all of that to get a good job. Be succesful and make alot of money. Ultimately what do they want for us?
Ultimately they want us to, with this financial security and wealth, to be able to pursue our interests and lead happy lives. But suppose we don't spend all that time spending every possible minute hitting the books hard. Suppose we take the time in our lives to leave it all behind and just spend time having fun.. to be happy. Sounds weird huh. But if you think about it, all our parents want for us in the end is to be happy. But if we spend the time we could be using to study instead to take the time to enjoy life and be happy, aren't we achieiving the same end? Just through different means.
Ok I got really sidetracked. I digress. What I was trying to say is, to spend all that time in school only to grow up with the single purpose of making money for myself seems to me like a very selfish lifestyle. I recognize that it's the accepted view for most everybody out there and that it's basically the norm, but I honestly think it's at least a little bit selfish. I mean we work all those years to go to work for ourselves and our dearly beloved. Only those who are really succesful ever help out anyone else. And so my dream for the future is not to have a job where I make loads and loads of money. My dream for the future is to do something where every day of my life I have an opportunity to change someone else's life for the better. That's my idea of a productive life. I mean money will never ever buy you happiness. But by giving someone else happiness, they give some of it back to you. And that's the most priceless thing ever.
I guess that sounds kinda corny. Whatever I'll admit it, I'm a corny guy. Deal with it. What inspires me the most about leading a life to help others is that anyone can do it. It doesn't take brains. It doesn't matter if you scored a 2400 on your SAT or if you had a 5.0 GPA and was valedictorian of the world. It doesn't take any talent, skill, or brains to show compassion to another human being, to be willing to work hard for someone else's sake. All it takes is open ears and a willing heart. That is a big part of my dream.
I would also like to be someday happily married. And I would die after my wife, or at the same time, because I would promise never to leave her and I would never break that promise. I would want us to always be happy and to raise our kids well and teach them right about what's actually important in life. I want to someday be old and look back on my life and be completely absolutely content with it. I feel like that feeling of absolute acceptance and content would be the most amazing in the world. That would be true happiness. That would be my dream.
Sunday, July 18, 2010
The Hair
Yesterday my pops and I made a bet over a tennis match. loser gets their head buzzed by the winner.
Down to the final point, my dad hits the ball at the net, seemingly resulting in victory for me. However, due to some freak chance of luck, the ball drops into the court.
With my luscious locks on the line, I lost by a hair.
I now look like a mushroom.
Btdubs if yall didn't catch my drift this is supposed to be a punny story.
I wouldn't actually bore you guys with a story like this..
shoutout to mah bud anika jahlani
Down to the final point, my dad hits the ball at the net, seemingly resulting in victory for me. However, due to some freak chance of luck, the ball drops into the court.
With my luscious locks on the line, I lost by a hair.
I now look like a mushroom.
Btdubs if yall didn't catch my drift this is supposed to be a punny story.
I wouldn't actually bore you guys with a story like this..
shoutout to mah bud anika jahlani
Day 3: Parents
Dear Mom,
I think you are super funny, one of the funniest people I know. You're an inspiration to me because you work really hard and you're really frank about me (example: mom: your haircut is hideouuus). You're always really energetic about life and you think of the most interesting ways to see things. You get really hard on me sometime when I'm lazy and I don't do my work and honestly even though I complain so much about it I appreciate it because I need somebody to keep me in line. I'm sorry I caused you so much pain by comin out backwards hahah I can say I'm not a normal kid. But I love you alot mom!
Dear Dad,
You are a goober. You bought reading glasses and your vision is perfect. You wear them on the end of your nose and call yourself dumbledore. You do the funniest things and say such strange things that always make me laugh. (Uhh. what's the airplane flight path?) You laugh way harder at your own jokes than anyone else ever does haha. You're really unfair and harsh on me sometimes, but I love you all the same. I know sometimes I can be a smartass to you (alot actually) but usually I'm tired or it's just plain something I feel like I should fight for. You take time to spend time with me and teach me new things and you're always looking out for my benefit and my welfare, which I don't fully appreciate. You always tell me that I should appreciate what I have more and even though on the outside I deny it to your face, on the inside I truly believe it. You give me the chance to pursue whatever I want in life and you support me no matter what and that's the most that anyone can do for anyone. I love you Dad.
I think you are super funny, one of the funniest people I know. You're an inspiration to me because you work really hard and you're really frank about me (example: mom: your haircut is hideouuus). You're always really energetic about life and you think of the most interesting ways to see things. You get really hard on me sometime when I'm lazy and I don't do my work and honestly even though I complain so much about it I appreciate it because I need somebody to keep me in line. I'm sorry I caused you so much pain by comin out backwards hahah I can say I'm not a normal kid. But I love you alot mom!
Dear Dad,
You are a goober. You bought reading glasses and your vision is perfect. You wear them on the end of your nose and call yourself dumbledore. You do the funniest things and say such strange things that always make me laugh. (Uhh. what's the airplane flight path?) You laugh way harder at your own jokes than anyone else ever does haha. You're really unfair and harsh on me sometimes, but I love you all the same. I know sometimes I can be a smartass to you (alot actually) but usually I'm tired or it's just plain something I feel like I should fight for. You take time to spend time with me and teach me new things and you're always looking out for my benefit and my welfare, which I don't fully appreciate. You always tell me that I should appreciate what I have more and even though on the outside I deny it to your face, on the inside I truly believe it. You give me the chance to pursue whatever I want in life and you support me no matter what and that's the most that anyone can do for anyone. I love you Dad.
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