Matters of Concern..?

We all do things for a reason. Whatever may motivate us, drive us, make us do what we do. No matter what it is, there's always something. That's something I assumed was true for the longest time. Today I found myself questioning why I cared about, and went to school. And I didn't find myself coming up with an answer.

I suppose I could always say because I get to see my friends, but that's not even really a part of 'school' as in the essence of school. School, in it's academic purity, honestly holds no importance in my life. I mean I guess I do it so I don't let my parents down. But I don't see why I have to go through all this, math, world history, chemistry, english, etc. In my own future, I don't see myself working a job because I want to be spectacularly rich. I see that as kind of selfish, working so hard but only for myself and my family. I want to be out there roaming and doing something that helps someone else and makes a difference. The business man that spends tons and tons of hours sitting in his cubicle making money for his family never changed anyone's life. Not even his own. He's too busy counting numbers in his cubicle for that.

I really don't know why I'm going through school. I really honestly don't even know why I want to go to college. I guess it's just something that's expected of kids from our school and in our area. We take it for granted, that all of us are going to college. I mean there are definitely people out there who have to work their butts off and when they finally make it, college is like the greatest thing ever to them. And here I am, wasting an opportunity. It makes me feel so damn spoiled. But I can't find a reason why I'm in school. For now though, I know one thing. Even if I don't currently have a driving force, I need to start working harder in school. Then at least I won't feel like I'm wasting this gift. I'm tired of mediocrity resulting from apathy. Time to put forth the effort that school deserves from me.