Doing a pretty good job of keeping this up, if I do say so myself. I made a pledge to myself to get in bed by 11 every single night from now on so I gotta make this kind of brief.
I'll be the first one to admit that I'm not a funny person haha. But I was thinking about how to be funny and make other people laugh sometimes people will make fun of other people in a way that sometimes isn't always necessarily funny or taken as a joke to that specific person. I'm definitely not one who's never made a joke like that. To be honest it feels great to make other people laugh. Even if it's at someone else's expense. But I was wondering is it really worth it?
We all know how it feels to be on the butt end of a joke like that. Even if it's hilarious and it makes everyone laugh really hard it doesn't make you feel good at all. You definitely feel really left out and put down. On the other side, sure it might make you feel like a funny person and feel good about yourself for a while cus you made a funny joke about someone but at their expense, putting them down?
I definitely feel like I sound like that guy that tries to defend someone and ruin the joke or somebody's mom. Anyways I just don't feel like its right. That was basically the point. Good night.
Tuesday, October 12, 2010
Friday, October 8, 2010
Woops.
Haven't done this in hella days. I feel like I've posted that on this blog so many times. Anyways. I know I say this every single time I write a blog post. literally. But it blows my mind every single time. No matter how old or accomplished or awesome or smart I think I am at any given point. Give me a couple months, a couple weeks, even a couple days and I always look back on myself and it just strikes me how much I've changed, usually for the better. I look back at how I was before and think to myself: Dang I can't believe I thought I couldn't get any better at that point, I definitely shouldn't think like that anymore. But I can't help myself. And after a few days I always find myself thinking the exact same things.
Anyways now that I've said that for the 7th time, I'm a month or two into my junior year now, haven't had much time to blog but I think I'm gonna start putting time into doing this, it doesn't take too much effort and feels nice to get my thoughts out of my head. Anyways junior year. It's alot of work for sure. But it's also tons of fun. I honestly really like being challenged by all of the work and I love being an upperclassmen and having all the little underclassmen walk around me as opposed to having to move around big older kids. It's pretty sweet. I get to that class that much faster now. Shortest distance between two points is a straight line. I know it's alot of work but one of my biggest pet peeves is when people stress out so much. Ok maybe it's not really one of my pet peeves but i just don't get why people stress out so much. I mean yeah you could have 3 tests the next day, a presentation to prep for and other work to do and you could either just stay cool and get the work done or you could stress out and freak out and explode. I just don't feel like stressing out would help you at all. Cus it just adds that much added pressure on you and it makes it feel like your world is caving in. You feeling what i'm saying?
Ok, it's pretty late I should probably be getting to bed now. Just one last thing I wanted to reiterate that I wanted to remind myself and all y'all (whoever reads this haha I have no clue. let me know if you actually read this haha as silly as it sounds it makes me feel good and hecka encourages me to write more when people are like ya dude i read your blog. i mean if you hate it let me know too thats fine with me.) that the worst thing you could possibly ever do is be down on yourself. Life is definitely a struggle, and everyday we're survivors (yeee class 2012). but in all seriousness there are already so many challenges that we all have to overcome in life; and so much adversity that we will all have to face and defeat. People are gonna put you down and try to bring you down and the worst thing you could possibly do is get down on yourself too. Never do that to yourself. That's what other people are for. You don't let someone else bring you down and you DEFINITELY don't let you bring you down. Cus if you don't even believe in yourself, what makes you think that other people will? All I wanted to say really. Sorry. Could've made this a one sentance blog post. haha mahhh bad. Ok Until next time. Hopefully soon. You're all beautiful people. and I mean that. Talk about that next time.
btw. that didn't work out too well. lolz VV
Anyways now that I've said that for the 7th time, I'm a month or two into my junior year now, haven't had much time to blog but I think I'm gonna start putting time into doing this, it doesn't take too much effort and feels nice to get my thoughts out of my head. Anyways junior year. It's alot of work for sure. But it's also tons of fun. I honestly really like being challenged by all of the work and I love being an upperclassmen and having all the little underclassmen walk around me as opposed to having to move around big older kids. It's pretty sweet. I get to that class that much faster now. Shortest distance between two points is a straight line. I know it's alot of work but one of my biggest pet peeves is when people stress out so much. Ok maybe it's not really one of my pet peeves but i just don't get why people stress out so much. I mean yeah you could have 3 tests the next day, a presentation to prep for and other work to do and you could either just stay cool and get the work done or you could stress out and freak out and explode. I just don't feel like stressing out would help you at all. Cus it just adds that much added pressure on you and it makes it feel like your world is caving in. You feeling what i'm saying?
Ok, it's pretty late I should probably be getting to bed now. Just one last thing I wanted to reiterate that I wanted to remind myself and all y'all (whoever reads this haha I have no clue. let me know if you actually read this haha as silly as it sounds it makes me feel good and hecka encourages me to write more when people are like ya dude i read your blog. i mean if you hate it let me know too thats fine with me.) that the worst thing you could possibly ever do is be down on yourself. Life is definitely a struggle, and everyday we're survivors (yeee class 2012). but in all seriousness there are already so many challenges that we all have to overcome in life; and so much adversity that we will all have to face and defeat. People are gonna put you down and try to bring you down and the worst thing you could possibly do is get down on yourself too. Never do that to yourself. That's what other people are for. You don't let someone else bring you down and you DEFINITELY don't let you bring you down. Cus if you don't even believe in yourself, what makes you think that other people will? All I wanted to say really. Sorry. Could've made this a one sentance blog post. haha mahhh bad. Ok Until next time. Hopefully soon. You're all beautiful people. and I mean that. Talk about that next time.
btw. that didn't work out too well. lolz VV
Friday, July 30, 2010
Day 13: Someone I wish could forgive me
Dear __________,
I'm still lookin for you too. We'll see who fills this one
Sorry these are getting so boring. Hopefully I'll get one I have alot to say about soon
I'm still lookin for you too. We'll see who fills this one
Sorry these are getting so boring. Hopefully I'll get one I have alot to say about soon
Tuesday, July 27, 2010
Day 12: Someone who I hate/caused me the most pain
No one yet. But I'll save some space for this one and write it when that person comes along
Monday, July 26, 2010
Day 11: Deceased person I wish I could talk to
Dear MJ,
I wish I could've gotten a chance to talk to you. To find out where you got your inspiration from. To find out how you were so innovative and how you basically had the world in the palm of your hand. Also to find out exactly what you were thinking when you went bad. The world was robbed when you died so early. You were a talent and a gift.
I wish I could've gotten a chance to talk to you. To find out where you got your inspiration from. To find out how you were so innovative and how you basically had the world in the palm of your hand. Also to find out exactly what you were thinking when you went bad. The world was robbed when you died so early. You were a talent and a gift.
Day 10: Someone I don't talk to as much as I'd like to
Dear Ben Chung,
Dude. You're a brother to me. Even though we don't really talk that much, usually once a month during the school year and once a week this summer, and we don't really ever hang out haha, I always look forward to and enjoy talking to you. We can be freakin raw and honest with each other and I respect and admire you alot. I love how frank you are about everything and how no matter how much time passes between the times we talk it's never awkward when we start talking again. We laugh hella hard at funny things and we laugh hella hard at nothing at all hahaha. You're a good listener and you're always positive but you still always give your honest opinion. I feel like if we talked alot we'd be the best of friends and brothers but we got it goin good right now so why mess widdit.
Dude. You're a brother to me. Even though we don't really talk that much, usually once a month during the school year and once a week this summer, and we don't really ever hang out haha, I always look forward to and enjoy talking to you. We can be freakin raw and honest with each other and I respect and admire you alot. I love how frank you are about everything and how no matter how much time passes between the times we talk it's never awkward when we start talking again. We laugh hella hard at funny things and we laugh hella hard at nothing at all hahaha. You're a good listener and you're always positive but you still always give your honest opinion. I feel like if we talked alot we'd be the best of friends and brothers but we got it goin good right now so why mess widdit.
Sunday, July 25, 2010
Day 9: Someone I wish I could meet
Dear grandparents,
I wish I could have met any one of you. Is it fair that I never got the chance to have a relationship with a grandparent? Well I dunno, can't really miss what you never had right? I just wish I had a chance to meet one of you. Maybe you would've taught me life lessons that I'd pass down to my grandchildren. Maybe we'd hang out together, and we'd talk about things that I couldn't talk about with anyone else. I'll never know
I wish I could have met any one of you. Is it fair that I never got the chance to have a relationship with a grandparent? Well I dunno, can't really miss what you never had right? I just wish I had a chance to meet one of you. Maybe you would've taught me life lessons that I'd pass down to my grandchildren. Maybe we'd hang out together, and we'd talk about things that I couldn't talk about with anyone else. I'll never know
Punny Story
Once upon a time there were two friends.
One day they came upon a gigantic toilet, filled with pee
While they were gazing upon the gigantic toilet, one friend pushed the other in.
The friend fell in and swam to the surface.
The other friend, looking down at his friend swimming in the pee, yelled down to him "GROSS!!!! LOOK HOW DEEP UR-INE!!"
One day they came upon a gigantic toilet, filled with pee
While they were gazing upon the gigantic toilet, one friend pushed the other in.
The friend fell in and swam to the surface.
The other friend, looking down at his friend swimming in the pee, yelled down to him "GROSS!!!! LOOK HOW DEEP UR-INE!!"
Friday, July 23, 2010
Day 8: Internet Friend
Dear Internet Friend,
I don't have one of you. But maybe it would be cool to. Anyways, I don't have anything to say to you. Maybe we could become friends in real life one day.
I don't have one of you. But maybe it would be cool to. Anyways, I don't have anything to say to you. Maybe we could become friends in real life one day.
Thursday, July 22, 2010
Day 7: Past Crush
Dear Annie,
You were the biggest crush I've ever had and the longest too. All the way from after I met you until the middle of sophomore year. You know how we went to the first two winter formals together? I thought we were gonna go to all 4 together and both proms too. I honestly didn't know who I'd rather go with. I'm not sure how you ever felt about me cus I could never get straight words out of you but now it doesn't really matter. I'm happy that I can say that we never had a bad falling out or anything. I guess I just moved on. I found true love (:. I wish the same for you too. You're a pretty, smart, and sweet girl and anyone guy would be lucky to have you. We're always going to be good friends and I'm always gonna be there for you.
You were the biggest crush I've ever had and the longest too. All the way from after I met you until the middle of sophomore year. You know how we went to the first two winter formals together? I thought we were gonna go to all 4 together and both proms too. I honestly didn't know who I'd rather go with. I'm not sure how you ever felt about me cus I could never get straight words out of you but now it doesn't really matter. I'm happy that I can say that we never had a bad falling out or anything. I guess I just moved on. I found true love (:. I wish the same for you too. You're a pretty, smart, and sweet girl and anyone guy would be lucky to have you. We're always going to be good friends and I'm always gonna be there for you.
Wednesday, July 21, 2010
Day 6: Stranger
Dear Stranger,
You don't know me. That's pretty much a given. Maybe you see me around. I hope I've made a good first impression on you. Probably not. I'm a pretty embarassing kid. Feel free to judge me. I don't really mind what other people think about me. I'm sure once you get to know me you'll change your mind. You can really judge me then. I hope I haven't annoyed you or pissed you off. If I have it hasn't been intentional. I hope we can be friends someday. That'd be cool. Then instead of being a part of the group of people for this letter, you could have one of your own! Just talk to me. I'll talk back
You don't know me. That's pretty much a given. Maybe you see me around. I hope I've made a good first impression on you. Probably not. I'm a pretty embarassing kid. Feel free to judge me. I don't really mind what other people think about me. I'm sure once you get to know me you'll change your mind. You can really judge me then. I hope I haven't annoyed you or pissed you off. If I have it hasn't been intentional. I hope we can be friends someday. That'd be cool. Then instead of being a part of the group of people for this letter, you could have one of your own! Just talk to me. I'll talk back
Tuesday, July 20, 2010
Day 5: My Dreams
Dear dreams,
I don't know what you mean by dreams. My sleeping dreams or my future dreams? I'll write to both. Dear sleeping dreams. I don't usually remember you guys. Sorry. It's not that you're not important to me, it's just that I don't figgin remember you guys for some odd reason. sorry. The last dream I remember, I got killed by an atomic bomb. So maybe it's for the better that I don't remember you guys.
Dear future dreams. You're kind of unclear right now. Lemme just throw out some of you. In the future I don't want to be the kind of guy who works and works and works all through school and finally gets a good job and is successful all so that he he can make alot of money for himself to have the financial security for himself and his family. Don't get me wrong. I definitely want to be able to make money so that me and my family will never have to worry about having enough money.
But at the same time I don't want to have a life soley centered around money making. Money isn't everything. Backtrack a little. From the start our parents have pushed us into working hard in school. Work hard in school they say. Get a good education. Go to a good college. Use all of that to get a good job. Be succesful and make alot of money. Ultimately what do they want for us?
Ultimately they want us to, with this financial security and wealth, to be able to pursue our interests and lead happy lives. But suppose we don't spend all that time spending every possible minute hitting the books hard. Suppose we take the time in our lives to leave it all behind and just spend time having fun.. to be happy. Sounds weird huh. But if you think about it, all our parents want for us in the end is to be happy. But if we spend the time we could be using to study instead to take the time to enjoy life and be happy, aren't we achieiving the same end? Just through different means.
Ok I got really sidetracked. I digress. What I was trying to say is, to spend all that time in school only to grow up with the single purpose of making money for myself seems to me like a very selfish lifestyle. I recognize that it's the accepted view for most everybody out there and that it's basically the norm, but I honestly think it's at least a little bit selfish. I mean we work all those years to go to work for ourselves and our dearly beloved. Only those who are really succesful ever help out anyone else. And so my dream for the future is not to have a job where I make loads and loads of money. My dream for the future is to do something where every day of my life I have an opportunity to change someone else's life for the better. That's my idea of a productive life. I mean money will never ever buy you happiness. But by giving someone else happiness, they give some of it back to you. And that's the most priceless thing ever.
I guess that sounds kinda corny. Whatever I'll admit it, I'm a corny guy. Deal with it. What inspires me the most about leading a life to help others is that anyone can do it. It doesn't take brains. It doesn't matter if you scored a 2400 on your SAT or if you had a 5.0 GPA and was valedictorian of the world. It doesn't take any talent, skill, or brains to show compassion to another human being, to be willing to work hard for someone else's sake. All it takes is open ears and a willing heart. That is a big part of my dream.
I would also like to be someday happily married. And I would die after my wife, or at the same time, because I would promise never to leave her and I would never break that promise. I would want us to always be happy and to raise our kids well and teach them right about what's actually important in life. I want to someday be old and look back on my life and be completely absolutely content with it. I feel like that feeling of absolute acceptance and content would be the most amazing in the world. That would be true happiness. That would be my dream.
I don't know what you mean by dreams. My sleeping dreams or my future dreams? I'll write to both. Dear sleeping dreams. I don't usually remember you guys. Sorry. It's not that you're not important to me, it's just that I don't figgin remember you guys for some odd reason. sorry. The last dream I remember, I got killed by an atomic bomb. So maybe it's for the better that I don't remember you guys.
Dear future dreams. You're kind of unclear right now. Lemme just throw out some of you. In the future I don't want to be the kind of guy who works and works and works all through school and finally gets a good job and is successful all so that he he can make alot of money for himself to have the financial security for himself and his family. Don't get me wrong. I definitely want to be able to make money so that me and my family will never have to worry about having enough money.
But at the same time I don't want to have a life soley centered around money making. Money isn't everything. Backtrack a little. From the start our parents have pushed us into working hard in school. Work hard in school they say. Get a good education. Go to a good college. Use all of that to get a good job. Be succesful and make alot of money. Ultimately what do they want for us?
Ultimately they want us to, with this financial security and wealth, to be able to pursue our interests and lead happy lives. But suppose we don't spend all that time spending every possible minute hitting the books hard. Suppose we take the time in our lives to leave it all behind and just spend time having fun.. to be happy. Sounds weird huh. But if you think about it, all our parents want for us in the end is to be happy. But if we spend the time we could be using to study instead to take the time to enjoy life and be happy, aren't we achieiving the same end? Just through different means.
Ok I got really sidetracked. I digress. What I was trying to say is, to spend all that time in school only to grow up with the single purpose of making money for myself seems to me like a very selfish lifestyle. I recognize that it's the accepted view for most everybody out there and that it's basically the norm, but I honestly think it's at least a little bit selfish. I mean we work all those years to go to work for ourselves and our dearly beloved. Only those who are really succesful ever help out anyone else. And so my dream for the future is not to have a job where I make loads and loads of money. My dream for the future is to do something where every day of my life I have an opportunity to change someone else's life for the better. That's my idea of a productive life. I mean money will never ever buy you happiness. But by giving someone else happiness, they give some of it back to you. And that's the most priceless thing ever.
I guess that sounds kinda corny. Whatever I'll admit it, I'm a corny guy. Deal with it. What inspires me the most about leading a life to help others is that anyone can do it. It doesn't take brains. It doesn't matter if you scored a 2400 on your SAT or if you had a 5.0 GPA and was valedictorian of the world. It doesn't take any talent, skill, or brains to show compassion to another human being, to be willing to work hard for someone else's sake. All it takes is open ears and a willing heart. That is a big part of my dream.
I would also like to be someday happily married. And I would die after my wife, or at the same time, because I would promise never to leave her and I would never break that promise. I would want us to always be happy and to raise our kids well and teach them right about what's actually important in life. I want to someday be old and look back on my life and be completely absolutely content with it. I feel like that feeling of absolute acceptance and content would be the most amazing in the world. That would be true happiness. That would be my dream.
Sunday, July 18, 2010
The Hair
Yesterday my pops and I made a bet over a tennis match. loser gets their head buzzed by the winner.
Down to the final point, my dad hits the ball at the net, seemingly resulting in victory for me. However, due to some freak chance of luck, the ball drops into the court.
With my luscious locks on the line, I lost by a hair.
I now look like a mushroom.
Btdubs if yall didn't catch my drift this is supposed to be a punny story.
I wouldn't actually bore you guys with a story like this..
shoutout to mah bud anika jahlani
Down to the final point, my dad hits the ball at the net, seemingly resulting in victory for me. However, due to some freak chance of luck, the ball drops into the court.
With my luscious locks on the line, I lost by a hair.
I now look like a mushroom.
Btdubs if yall didn't catch my drift this is supposed to be a punny story.
I wouldn't actually bore you guys with a story like this..
shoutout to mah bud anika jahlani
Day 3: Parents
Dear Mom,
I think you are super funny, one of the funniest people I know. You're an inspiration to me because you work really hard and you're really frank about me (example: mom: your haircut is hideouuus). You're always really energetic about life and you think of the most interesting ways to see things. You get really hard on me sometime when I'm lazy and I don't do my work and honestly even though I complain so much about it I appreciate it because I need somebody to keep me in line. I'm sorry I caused you so much pain by comin out backwards hahah I can say I'm not a normal kid. But I love you alot mom!
Dear Dad,
You are a goober. You bought reading glasses and your vision is perfect. You wear them on the end of your nose and call yourself dumbledore. You do the funniest things and say such strange things that always make me laugh. (Uhh. what's the airplane flight path?) You laugh way harder at your own jokes than anyone else ever does haha. You're really unfair and harsh on me sometimes, but I love you all the same. I know sometimes I can be a smartass to you (alot actually) but usually I'm tired or it's just plain something I feel like I should fight for. You take time to spend time with me and teach me new things and you're always looking out for my benefit and my welfare, which I don't fully appreciate. You always tell me that I should appreciate what I have more and even though on the outside I deny it to your face, on the inside I truly believe it. You give me the chance to pursue whatever I want in life and you support me no matter what and that's the most that anyone can do for anyone. I love you Dad.
I think you are super funny, one of the funniest people I know. You're an inspiration to me because you work really hard and you're really frank about me (example: mom: your haircut is hideouuus). You're always really energetic about life and you think of the most interesting ways to see things. You get really hard on me sometime when I'm lazy and I don't do my work and honestly even though I complain so much about it I appreciate it because I need somebody to keep me in line. I'm sorry I caused you so much pain by comin out backwards hahah I can say I'm not a normal kid. But I love you alot mom!
Dear Dad,
You are a goober. You bought reading glasses and your vision is perfect. You wear them on the end of your nose and call yourself dumbledore. You do the funniest things and say such strange things that always make me laugh. (Uhh. what's the airplane flight path?) You laugh way harder at your own jokes than anyone else ever does haha. You're really unfair and harsh on me sometimes, but I love you all the same. I know sometimes I can be a smartass to you (alot actually) but usually I'm tired or it's just plain something I feel like I should fight for. You take time to spend time with me and teach me new things and you're always looking out for my benefit and my welfare, which I don't fully appreciate. You always tell me that I should appreciate what I have more and even though on the outside I deny it to your face, on the inside I truly believe it. You give me the chance to pursue whatever I want in life and you support me no matter what and that's the most that anyone can do for anyone. I love you Dad.
Day 2: The Crush
Ok I'm gonna come straight up and say I don't have a crush. Don't believe me? I honestly don't. You might be thinking. What about Robin!?!? Yeah she's not my crush. That's far to insignificant of a word to describe the way I feel about her. I loveher. She's the only girl for me. Aite I'm gonna try to write this letter without getting too corny or making anyone want to feel like throwing up aha.
Dear Robin,
You're in China right now. I miss you more than anything. I can't wait until you come home. But you should already know that. I love you more than anything. You should already know that too. I try to tell you every day. I feel so comfortable and content when I'm with you and you always know how to make me smile and make me laugh and make me happy. Even with the simplest ways. I feel I can always completely be myself around you. You always take me the way I am, faults and quirks and everything, you even complement mine with yours. I'm the luckiest guy in the world cus you're all mine and I'm definitely going to make it last. I love that we can talk about anything, we have nothing to hide from each other but we're also amazingly content saying nothing at all. I think you are the cutest thing in the world and also the most beautiful girl in the entire world. The way you make me feel is amazing and im completely sure that no other person in the world can make me feel the same way. If you ever don't think I don't love you, look at the compilation. I always have things to add to it. You are my baby, forever and always.
Love,
Eric
Dear Robin,
You're in China right now. I miss you more than anything. I can't wait until you come home. But you should already know that. I love you more than anything. You should already know that too. I try to tell you every day. I feel so comfortable and content when I'm with you and you always know how to make me smile and make me laugh and make me happy. Even with the simplest ways. I feel I can always completely be myself around you. You always take me the way I am, faults and quirks and everything, you even complement mine with yours. I'm the luckiest guy in the world cus you're all mine and I'm definitely going to make it last. I love that we can talk about anything, we have nothing to hide from each other but we're also amazingly content saying nothing at all. I think you are the cutest thing in the world and also the most beautiful girl in the entire world. The way you make me feel is amazing and im completely sure that no other person in the world can make me feel the same way. If you ever don't think I don't love you, look at the compilation. I always have things to add to it. You are my baby, forever and always.
Love,
Eric
Friday, July 16, 2010
Day 1: Best Friends
These are my best friends. I don't know what I would ever do without them.
Dear Will Tang, I love you. We hit off our friendship with a 5 am baseball game drinking imaginary soda and watching the sun rise together. Gahd we're romantic. I seriously can tell you anything at all and you're always honest with your opinion which I love. We can always carry a continuous conversation that flows on and on. I've shared good laughs with you about the most random things and sometimes about things that aren't so random. You're reliable, I know you're always be there when I need you and that I can count on you no matter what. We talk about girls together, stargaze on beautiful nights, wrestle, play and fight (i win) and basically you're the older brother I never had.
Dear Kaitna,: We've had our one rough patch where I wasn't there for you but I can honestly say that you have always been there for me. We can talk about anything and we can talk forever and you're always fun to be around and you (usually) support me in whatever i do hahahah. I feel super comfortable around you and I can totally be myself and it's so liberating. You're super encouraging and you're honestly one of the kindest and most popular people I know. Even though you're a sasshole and pretends to hate me sometimes I love her all the same.
Dear Krista: You're a fun and funny one. I always thought it was really easy to talk to you and that it was always fun and easy for me to be around you but I think our heart to heart that one night at j in the b really strengthened our friendship. We totally spilled our guts about everything and from then on we've only grown closer. You put up with all of my jokes and you even laugh at some of them. hahah actually that goes for everyone here. You introduce me to great music and you're patient with my guitar learning (even though i just go GOD I HATE GUITAR ITS SO HARD). hahaha you always listen to what I have to say and give me advice and I love you for that.
Dear Jason: When I first met you I thought you hated me. You still pretend like you do alot. Even though you always say fuck you and tell me to suck your dick you're still a bro to me. I like that we can joke around about random stuff and basically talk about nothing at all but we can also put our serious pants on and talk about what really matters. usually in your car at night over wingstop. You're one of those people who is honest through and through to the point of being blunt and rude. But because of that I trust your judgement no matter what. I feel like you've rubbed off on me and I know you'll be very happy about that. You smell like baby powder and even though constantly call me corny I know you secretly dig my jokes and romantic lines. love you big fella.
Dear Jon: When I first met you I thought you hated me too hahahhaaha. I really got to know you on the LA trip and we had a great bonding experience hahahahha then I learned we were pretty figgin similar and we've hung out almost every day this summer. I love your honestly and bluntness. You're not gonna sugarcoat something for me or anyone else and so i value your opinion. It's always fun to hang out with you cus I always feel like I have stuff to say to you. Specially when I throw up a 40 with Melo.
Dear Olivia: Where do I start? You've been my best friend forever. It all started back in the 3rd grade at xin wang ai. Actually back then you were NOT my best friend. You were the cause of me losing 2 hard earned stickers. What an upsetting day. Fastfoward 7 years and we're the best of friends. We've definitely been through alot together. You've gotten pretty figgin mad at me but I have yet to get really really mad at you. I guess we'll cross that bridge when we meet it. But anyways you are the only person that isn't in choir (that you always remind me whenever I tell you this) that has ever seen me cry. And it's been twice. Wow. You are always always always there for me no matter what and you always listen to me and never fail to cheer me up. (there, there.) I love all the random adventures we go on and all of our spontaneous activities. You know me so well inside and out that you can always tell what's on my mind or if I'm upset or what not. You make me laugh even though half the time you're not even trying to (smashh...into...you...). I always enjoy spending time with you and i do actually miss you when we're not hanging out hahaha. (olivia: he's probably like tim, he hates me.) It's easy for me to talk to you and I can talk to you about literally everything. You always support me and encourage me. And I will always always always be here for you big sis (:
Dear Will Tang, I love you. We hit off our friendship with a 5 am baseball game drinking imaginary soda and watching the sun rise together. Gahd we're romantic. I seriously can tell you anything at all and you're always honest with your opinion which I love. We can always carry a continuous conversation that flows on and on. I've shared good laughs with you about the most random things and sometimes about things that aren't so random. You're reliable, I know you're always be there when I need you and that I can count on you no matter what. We talk about girls together, stargaze on beautiful nights, wrestle, play and fight (i win) and basically you're the older brother I never had.
Dear Kaitna,: We've had our one rough patch where I wasn't there for you but I can honestly say that you have always been there for me. We can talk about anything and we can talk forever and you're always fun to be around and you (usually) support me in whatever i do hahahah. I feel super comfortable around you and I can totally be myself and it's so liberating. You're super encouraging and you're honestly one of the kindest and most popular people I know. Even though you're a sasshole and pretends to hate me sometimes I love her all the same.
Dear Krista: You're a fun and funny one. I always thought it was really easy to talk to you and that it was always fun and easy for me to be around you but I think our heart to heart that one night at j in the b really strengthened our friendship. We totally spilled our guts about everything and from then on we've only grown closer. You put up with all of my jokes and you even laugh at some of them. hahah actually that goes for everyone here. You introduce me to great music and you're patient with my guitar learning (even though i just go GOD I HATE GUITAR ITS SO HARD). hahaha you always listen to what I have to say and give me advice and I love you for that.
Dear Jason: When I first met you I thought you hated me. You still pretend like you do alot. Even though you always say fuck you and tell me to suck your dick you're still a bro to me. I like that we can joke around about random stuff and basically talk about nothing at all but we can also put our serious pants on and talk about what really matters. usually in your car at night over wingstop. You're one of those people who is honest through and through to the point of being blunt and rude. But because of that I trust your judgement no matter what. I feel like you've rubbed off on me and I know you'll be very happy about that. You smell like baby powder and even though constantly call me corny I know you secretly dig my jokes and romantic lines. love you big fella.
Dear Jon: When I first met you I thought you hated me too hahahhaaha. I really got to know you on the LA trip and we had a great bonding experience hahahahha then I learned we were pretty figgin similar and we've hung out almost every day this summer. I love your honestly and bluntness. You're not gonna sugarcoat something for me or anyone else and so i value your opinion. It's always fun to hang out with you cus I always feel like I have stuff to say to you. Specially when I throw up a 40 with Melo.
Dear Olivia: Where do I start? You've been my best friend forever. It all started back in the 3rd grade at xin wang ai. Actually back then you were NOT my best friend. You were the cause of me losing 2 hard earned stickers. What an upsetting day. Fastfoward 7 years and we're the best of friends. We've definitely been through alot together. You've gotten pretty figgin mad at me but I have yet to get really really mad at you. I guess we'll cross that bridge when we meet it. But anyways you are the only person that isn't in choir (that you always remind me whenever I tell you this) that has ever seen me cry. And it's been twice. Wow. You are always always always there for me no matter what and you always listen to me and never fail to cheer me up. (there, there.) I love all the random adventures we go on and all of our spontaneous activities. You know me so well inside and out that you can always tell what's on my mind or if I'm upset or what not. You make me laugh even though half the time you're not even trying to (smashh...into...you...). I always enjoy spending time with you and i do actually miss you when we're not hanging out hahaha. (olivia: he's probably like tim, he hates me.) It's easy for me to talk to you and I can talk to you about literally everything. You always support me and encourage me. And I will always always always be here for you big sis (:
Letters
Stole this from Joyee's blog
http://omnistrain.tumblr.com/page/2
Day 1 — Your Best Friend
Day 2 — Your Crush
Day 3 — Your parents
Day 4 — Your sibling (or closest relative)
Day 5 — Your dreams
Day 6 — A stranger
Day 7 — Your Ex-boyfriend/girlfriend/love/crush
Day 8 — Your favourite internet friend
Day 9 — Someone you wish you could meet
Day 10 — Someone you don’t talk to as much as you’d like to
Day 11 — A Deceased person you wish you could talk to
Day 12 — The person you hate most/caused you a lot of pain
Day 13 — Someone you wish could forgive you
Day 14 — Someone you’ve drifted away from
Day 15 — The person you miss the most
Day 16 — Someone that’s not in your state/country
Day 17 — Someone from your childhood
Day 18 — The person that you wish you could be
Day 19 — Someone that pesters your mind—good or bad
Day 20 — The one that broke your heart the hardest
Day 21 — Someone you judged by their first impression
Day 22 — Someone you want to give a second chance to
Day 23 — The last person you kissed
Day 24 — The person that gave you your favorite memory
Day 25 — The person you know that is going through the worst of times
Day 26 — The last person you made a pinky promise to
Day 27 — The friendliest person you knew for only one day
Day 28 — Someone that changed your life
Day 29 — The person that you want tell everything to, but too afraid to
Day 30 — Your reflection in the mirror
So basically I guess you write a letter to each of these people erryday. I'm excited. I feel like it'll really make me think and it'll be really cleansing and it'll also force me to blog erry day haha good stuff.
http://omnistrain.tumblr.com/page/2
Day 1 — Your Best Friend
Day 2 — Your Crush
Day 3 — Your parents
Day 4 — Your sibling (or closest relative)
Day 5 — Your dreams
Day 6 — A stranger
Day 7 — Your Ex-boyfriend/girlfriend/love/crush
Day 8 — Your favourite internet friend
Day 9 — Someone you wish you could meet
Day 10 — Someone you don’t talk to as much as you’d like to
Day 11 — A Deceased person you wish you could talk to
Day 12 — The person you hate most/caused you a lot of pain
Day 13 — Someone you wish could forgive you
Day 14 — Someone you’ve drifted away from
Day 15 — The person you miss the most
Day 16 — Someone that’s not in your state/country
Day 17 — Someone from your childhood
Day 18 — The person that you wish you could be
Day 19 — Someone that pesters your mind—good or bad
Day 20 — The one that broke your heart the hardest
Day 21 — Someone you judged by their first impression
Day 22 — Someone you want to give a second chance to
Day 23 — The last person you kissed
Day 24 — The person that gave you your favorite memory
Day 25 — The person you know that is going through the worst of times
Day 26 — The last person you made a pinky promise to
Day 27 — The friendliest person you knew for only one day
Day 28 — Someone that changed your life
Day 29 — The person that you want tell everything to, but too afraid to
Day 30 — Your reflection in the mirror
So basically I guess you write a letter to each of these people erryday. I'm excited. I feel like it'll really make me think and it'll be really cleansing and it'll also force me to blog erry day haha good stuff.
Thursday, July 15, 2010
Don't Worry, Be Happy
This morning me and a good friend had a good chat about college. It's kinda early to be talking about it I guess. Not really though if we think about it, all yall out there that are class of 2012. I mean think about it, how fast did freshman and sophomore year pass us? Before we know it it'll be our turn to stress about college apps and our futures. And it's a scary thought, not gonna lie.
My friend was telling me about how she was stressing like crazy about school and SATs and how she thought she was never going to go to college. And listening to her talk, in my head I was thinking. Dude. I should be seriously freaked out and stressed and scared too. But I'm not. What's wrong with me? I really don't know why I have this cool about school. It's a freakin big deal. This is how I explained it to her and I guess this is just what I think about the whole deal without even really consciously trying to. I basically told her that if you study hard and work hard at everything you do and give it everything you have to offer, all you can really do is sit back and let what happens happens. So if you happen to not get into the school you wanted to then what happens happens. But you know that you gave it your all and there was nothing else you could have possibly done to increase your chances. I know how cliche`d and corny I sound haha. I feel like my dad. But there's no point in stressing out about something. That takes a ton of energy. And there are so many more productive things you could be doing with that energy.
Also I was thinking about how alot of people say things like god im never gonna get into college. Or basically they beat themselves up alot. I don't usually let it bother me when people say things like that but in the back of my mind it annoys me. It doesn't annoy me because it's obnoxious but I just feel like it's so unnecessary. Let me explain. We're all basically trying for the same thing. Be successful. Be happy. All that good stuff. And we all have people or organizations or failures and what not that will try to stop us from achieving our goals. They'll try as hard as they can to put us down and make us give up. Going back to the people who say they won't go to college, why would you ever say that about yourself? There are plenty of SAT counselors, college administration officers, and even other parents who I'm sure would be more than happy to tell that to you. Why add to that number? You shouldn't ever discourage yourself. That's what other people are for.
I really believe in never putting myself down. I think if you're good at something, you should be loud and proud. I guess people would call it cocky in some circumstances. I really try not to come across like that but you gotta live with some confidence. Anyways back to the whole college thing. All yall out there worrying about college, please try not to worry so hard about it all. It might seem like, in our high school bubble, that school and SATs are gonna make or break you for the rest of your life, but honestly it's not. The world is so much bigger than grades and scores. I'm not trying to say blow off school haha I'm not saying that at all. I'm just trying to say take a step back, chill out, relax a little bit and then get back into it. And before you know it, we'll all be on our way.
My friend was telling me about how she was stressing like crazy about school and SATs and how she thought she was never going to go to college. And listening to her talk, in my head I was thinking. Dude. I should be seriously freaked out and stressed and scared too. But I'm not. What's wrong with me? I really don't know why I have this cool about school. It's a freakin big deal. This is how I explained it to her and I guess this is just what I think about the whole deal without even really consciously trying to. I basically told her that if you study hard and work hard at everything you do and give it everything you have to offer, all you can really do is sit back and let what happens happens. So if you happen to not get into the school you wanted to then what happens happens. But you know that you gave it your all and there was nothing else you could have possibly done to increase your chances. I know how cliche`d and corny I sound haha. I feel like my dad. But there's no point in stressing out about something. That takes a ton of energy. And there are so many more productive things you could be doing with that energy.
Also I was thinking about how alot of people say things like god im never gonna get into college. Or basically they beat themselves up alot. I don't usually let it bother me when people say things like that but in the back of my mind it annoys me. It doesn't annoy me because it's obnoxious but I just feel like it's so unnecessary. Let me explain. We're all basically trying for the same thing. Be successful. Be happy. All that good stuff. And we all have people or organizations or failures and what not that will try to stop us from achieving our goals. They'll try as hard as they can to put us down and make us give up. Going back to the people who say they won't go to college, why would you ever say that about yourself? There are plenty of SAT counselors, college administration officers, and even other parents who I'm sure would be more than happy to tell that to you. Why add to that number? You shouldn't ever discourage yourself. That's what other people are for.
I really believe in never putting myself down. I think if you're good at something, you should be loud and proud. I guess people would call it cocky in some circumstances. I really try not to come across like that but you gotta live with some confidence. Anyways back to the whole college thing. All yall out there worrying about college, please try not to worry so hard about it all. It might seem like, in our high school bubble, that school and SATs are gonna make or break you for the rest of your life, but honestly it's not. The world is so much bigger than grades and scores. I'm not trying to say blow off school haha I'm not saying that at all. I'm just trying to say take a step back, chill out, relax a little bit and then get back into it. And before you know it, we'll all be on our way.
Tuesday, July 13, 2010
Late Nights
It's almost 2:30, just up talkin to Robin in China (: I miss her. Anyways. I was thinkin. Maybe it's just me. Aren't people alot more open to talk about whatever the later it is at night? Iono maybe it is just me. But I remember alot of my deep personal conversations with people where they spill their guts about anything and everything and don't hold anything back are usually really late at night either at some camp lying next to each other in the pitch dark whispering or late night phone dates lying in bed half asleep and not even remembering half of the conversation the next day. But I've always wondered why people are so open at night. At night they all just lay everything out and hold nothing back. What drives people so be so straightforward, trusting, and honest at night that doesn't propel them in broad daylight? It'd be cool if someone could fill me in on what they think. I'm really interested in what they think! One of my best friends has an opinion though. "DID YOU KNOW THAT WHEN YOURE REALLY TIRED..YOUR BRAIN IS EXACTLY LIKE WHEN YOURE DRUNK...??" - Olivia Chock
Monday, July 12, 2010
Comeback
Ok I promise to myself and all of yall that from here on out I will blog at least once a week. When I was thinking about it I was thinking. Ok I'll promise myself every day. But I know that I wouldn't be able to keep that promise that to myself so I'm going for something reasonable. I'll just have to exceed my own expectations. What's been going on with me since the last time i blogged? A ton.
I'm a junior year now. Finally an upperclassman. I'm looking forward to all the word cus even though everyone says it's so much work and stressful and stuff, which I definitely believe, I'm looking forward to really being tested and stressed you know? Sounds strange but I feel like this will really show myself what kind of person I am. Do I run from my problems or do I stick with it and work hard to deal with them? We'll see. I also feel like this coming year is gonna help me define my true friends. Just a hunch. I've started doing SAT stuff cus my dad wants me to. Just printed out a list of 723 SAT words. The party's getting started. Memorized 20 hahaha only 703 to go. wooopeee.
Alot's changed with my perspective since the last time I wrote. Weird thing is everytime you write you act like you're super wise and super smart and know eveyrthing now. But then every time you write again a couple weeks later you're like oh wow my eyes have really been opened and I have this new perspective blah blah. Proves we're always learning and growing. I used to wish that I would be grown up and developed and sophisticated and smart and that would be the end of that. But I thought about it and yaknow how boring would it be to have nothing to strive for? Anyways I came back from a long trip in Miami and on a cruise to the Bahamas. This one night I was missssin my girl really badly so I spontaneously decided to text everybody on my contacts list with a significant other for the reasons of love/like. And to my surprise I got a bunch of replies, even from the ones I didn't know that well. It was pretty cool and inspiring and heart warming to see all the responses. I still have all of them on my phone, locked them. But reading all of them made me really happy cus I could completely relate to all of them.
The biggest thing that hit was that no matter how different we all are, we all love the same! (:. It was like that thing that was going on on facebook where people said nice things about each other when you liked their status only different because it was heartwarming all the same. It gets me wondering, when someone really asks. or actually. when someone's really tired haha. I feel like when you're really tired youre super open and willing to talk about things you dont normally talk about and i guess you're just too tired to put up a front and hide anything from anybody yaknow? But anyways when even from the most unlikely people you get this outpour of love when you just ask to talk about it. It's like finding 20 bucks in the back pocket of the jeans you just washed.
I'm a junior year now. Finally an upperclassman. I'm looking forward to all the word cus even though everyone says it's so much work and stressful and stuff, which I definitely believe, I'm looking forward to really being tested and stressed you know? Sounds strange but I feel like this will really show myself what kind of person I am. Do I run from my problems or do I stick with it and work hard to deal with them? We'll see. I also feel like this coming year is gonna help me define my true friends. Just a hunch. I've started doing SAT stuff cus my dad wants me to. Just printed out a list of 723 SAT words. The party's getting started. Memorized 20 hahaha only 703 to go. wooopeee.
Alot's changed with my perspective since the last time I wrote. Weird thing is everytime you write you act like you're super wise and super smart and know eveyrthing now. But then every time you write again a couple weeks later you're like oh wow my eyes have really been opened and I have this new perspective blah blah. Proves we're always learning and growing. I used to wish that I would be grown up and developed and sophisticated and smart and that would be the end of that. But I thought about it and yaknow how boring would it be to have nothing to strive for? Anyways I came back from a long trip in Miami and on a cruise to the Bahamas. This one night I was missssin my girl really badly so I spontaneously decided to text everybody on my contacts list with a significant other for the reasons of love/like. And to my surprise I got a bunch of replies, even from the ones I didn't know that well. It was pretty cool and inspiring and heart warming to see all the responses. I still have all of them on my phone, locked them. But reading all of them made me really happy cus I could completely relate to all of them.
The biggest thing that hit was that no matter how different we all are, we all love the same! (:. It was like that thing that was going on on facebook where people said nice things about each other when you liked their status only different because it was heartwarming all the same. It gets me wondering, when someone really asks. or actually. when someone's really tired haha. I feel like when you're really tired youre super open and willing to talk about things you dont normally talk about and i guess you're just too tired to put up a front and hide anything from anybody yaknow? But anyways when even from the most unlikely people you get this outpour of love when you just ask to talk about it. It's like finding 20 bucks in the back pocket of the jeans you just washed.
Sunday, April 25, 2010
Been a While II.
Ya it's been a while again. When I started this I definitely told myself that I was gonna update every day. I was goin real strong but since then I kinda lost steam. Just not much to talk about yaknow? What's been goin on with me? During spring break the music department at school went to LA for a mini tour. It was pretty fun, not all it was hyped up to be though. That's alright it was still a good time. I met this guy from another school that looked like T-Pain. I already forgot what his name was but I remember I was talking to him and he was telling me how our violin section of our orchestra was bigger than their entire orchestra. I was like dang dude. We definitely are really lucky and fortunate to be in the situation that we're in (saratogans) It also helped me realize that despite our differences. Me and T-Pain were pretty similar. He was a really nice guy who loved music just like me. We could relate easily despite our racial and situational differences. That's pretty all I wanted to write this blog post for actually. Just wanted to get that off my mind and on the internet. I'll probably write again later. Gotta go look for my Swag
Monday, March 29, 2010
#71. The Comeback
Ok it's been forever since I wrote. Even more forever than last time. I'm not sure I remember how to do this anymore so I'm gonna be all over the place. I promised a friend I'd do this though so here we go. From the last time I blogged until now it's been pretty hectic. I've been pretty busy since baseball season started since I don't get home until 6:30 and I definitely don't start my homework until 9. Gettin into some prettttttty bad habits. I just ate 30 cuties. I'm pretty sure I'm melting from the outside in. I noticed that I open fruits in weird ways. I'll try to open a cutie in one piece. I open bananas the way monkeys do, from the back. Wow I hope this isn't boring for you haha I feel like it would be.
Ok also something I've been wanting to talk about since I heard about it is Challenge Day at our school. So I was a fool and didn't sign up for it but I heard it was amazing. Basically the gist (did I spell that right?) is you get together with everyone else who signed up or who was picked and basically you tell each other your hardships and cry together and love each other and feel good and stuff. And it's one of those things where afterwards you feel all lovey dovey and you love everyone and you wanna be an amazing peron. But the thing that I wonder is why we can't be like that all of the time? And a while after the effects definitely wear off. Basically though, why does it take an organized event for people to realize that they care about each other and love each other? As well as that other people are amazing too? We should look for these things in other people every day and devote ourselves to being loving people. It's like that BEP song. Where's the love? I dunnooo. So catchy.
Another thing. Been frustrated kinda lately about some decisions. And basically I learned something. A wise friend told me that I can't always make my decisions based on what makes other people happy, and that sometimes I have to decide on what makes me happy. Now that I think about it, I've always strived to try to make others happy, sometimes at my own expense. But that's living for others, and not myself, and sometimes I'd be the one coming away feeling unsatisfied. I'm going to be more conscious in the future to not only make others happy but myself as well. Not in a selfish way, but you can only share happiness with other people when you yourself are happy, when you have happiness to share. Ok that is all, but here's a quote that has become one of my favorites.
"You can turn the sun off, but I'm stil gonna shine"
-Jason Mraz
Ok also something I've been wanting to talk about since I heard about it is Challenge Day at our school. So I was a fool and didn't sign up for it but I heard it was amazing. Basically the gist (did I spell that right?) is you get together with everyone else who signed up or who was picked and basically you tell each other your hardships and cry together and love each other and feel good and stuff. And it's one of those things where afterwards you feel all lovey dovey and you love everyone and you wanna be an amazing peron. But the thing that I wonder is why we can't be like that all of the time? And a while after the effects definitely wear off. Basically though, why does it take an organized event for people to realize that they care about each other and love each other? As well as that other people are amazing too? We should look for these things in other people every day and devote ourselves to being loving people. It's like that BEP song. Where's the love? I dunnooo. So catchy.
Another thing. Been frustrated kinda lately about some decisions. And basically I learned something. A wise friend told me that I can't always make my decisions based on what makes other people happy, and that sometimes I have to decide on what makes me happy. Now that I think about it, I've always strived to try to make others happy, sometimes at my own expense. But that's living for others, and not myself, and sometimes I'd be the one coming away feeling unsatisfied. I'm going to be more conscious in the future to not only make others happy but myself as well. Not in a selfish way, but you can only share happiness with other people when you yourself are happy, when you have happiness to share. Ok that is all, but here's a quote that has become one of my favorites.
"You can turn the sun off, but I'm stil gonna shine"
-Jason Mraz
Thursday, February 11, 2010
Ages
Today a friend I was talking with suddenly said "DUDE. You haven't blogged in forever. I checked the blog yesterday and I was trying to find the new one but there was nothing!!" My first reaction was Oh, shoot, I'm pretty flattered that people keep up with and care about what I say. My second reaction was, Oh, shoot, I haven't written anything in forever! It's been a rough.. month-ish? Since the last time I wrote. Baseball's started so I've had basically none time to do my work and study for tests and play piano, let alone blog. The going's been rough. I figured with the great times I enjoyed earlier this year, there had to be some rough patches.
To put it simply, this past month or so, I've felt inadequate. Either I haven't been giving enough of myself, or 100% of myself just isn't enough. I've felt inadequate in school, inadequate in sports, inadequate in Tensync/choir and in friendships. The list goes on and on. I feel like I've been giving it half effort but I'm drained like I'm going all out. It's been a while since I've experienced the feeling of being truly fullfilled at the end of the day. I've also felt a trend towards being mean spirited some times. I find that for myself it's easier to be insensitive to others feelings and be really apathetic with my interactions with others simply because it takes less effort. But like what any sports coach will tell you, you only get from something what you put into it. It's like stickin a dime in the vending machine and hitting coin return expecting a dollar coin. Dream all you like, it's not gonna happen. Same thing for school too. I told myself I was really going to hit the book hard this semester and not have to worry come finals. But the reality is that my lack of interest and effort is alarming. Whenever I think about it or someone talks about it I just wanna say Dude, I don't give. And being in the mean state that I am it's a possibility.
It's currently 12:08, not too late by any means. But I have class tomorrow at 7:50 so maybe staying up to write a bit will turn out to be a bad idea, but I find that without writing, all of my thoughts get really bottled up and I get really frustrated. And since I haven't written in a really long time, the words just flow out easy. Real easy. It's like I got unlimited things to say. I wish I actually did. Sometimes I'll be talkin to someone. And I'll just have nothing to say to them. It's weird. Pretty awkward too. It's all like, hmmmm I wanna say something to you but I flat out have nothin to say. Does that happen to other people? I've always wondered. Sometimes though, I can keep talking and talking and talking. I wish it could be like that all the time. That would be splendid. Splenda, that sounds familiar. I think it's tea or something..? That sounds really good right now actually. I think I'm getting sick. Anyways I've gotten wayyy off topic and I stopped being serious maybe 5 lines ago. Alright, time for bed. I'm goin on a hunt. Tryin to rediscover my passion for life.
To put it simply, this past month or so, I've felt inadequate. Either I haven't been giving enough of myself, or 100% of myself just isn't enough. I've felt inadequate in school, inadequate in sports, inadequate in Tensync/choir and in friendships. The list goes on and on. I feel like I've been giving it half effort but I'm drained like I'm going all out. It's been a while since I've experienced the feeling of being truly fullfilled at the end of the day. I've also felt a trend towards being mean spirited some times. I find that for myself it's easier to be insensitive to others feelings and be really apathetic with my interactions with others simply because it takes less effort. But like what any sports coach will tell you, you only get from something what you put into it. It's like stickin a dime in the vending machine and hitting coin return expecting a dollar coin. Dream all you like, it's not gonna happen. Same thing for school too. I told myself I was really going to hit the book hard this semester and not have to worry come finals. But the reality is that my lack of interest and effort is alarming. Whenever I think about it or someone talks about it I just wanna say Dude, I don't give. And being in the mean state that I am it's a possibility.
It's currently 12:08, not too late by any means. But I have class tomorrow at 7:50 so maybe staying up to write a bit will turn out to be a bad idea, but I find that without writing, all of my thoughts get really bottled up and I get really frustrated. And since I haven't written in a really long time, the words just flow out easy. Real easy. It's like I got unlimited things to say. I wish I actually did. Sometimes I'll be talkin to someone. And I'll just have nothing to say to them. It's weird. Pretty awkward too. It's all like, hmmmm I wanna say something to you but I flat out have nothin to say. Does that happen to other people? I've always wondered. Sometimes though, I can keep talking and talking and talking. I wish it could be like that all the time. That would be splendid. Splenda, that sounds familiar. I think it's tea or something..? That sounds really good right now actually. I think I'm getting sick. Anyways I've gotten wayyy off topic and I stopped being serious maybe 5 lines ago. Alright, time for bed. I'm goin on a hunt. Tryin to rediscover my passion for life.
Monday, January 25, 2010
Definition.
i - pron.
Used to refer to oneself as speaker or writer.
n. pl. I's
The self; the ego.
"Accept no one's definition of your life. Define yourself." - Harvey Fierstein
That's definitely one of my favorite quotes of all time. And also one quote that I have never ever been able to follow in my life. I feel like I've always been content to be whatever everybody says I am. It hasn't necessarily been bad but it's felt like I've been under restraint. And of my own free will. My own prisoner. But I mean like really, who knows who/what we are? How do we even know who we are? I feel like life's a journey to discover just that. That's why I feel like those really old people are content and at peace when they die. Their journey is through and they've discovered themselves, and now they are at peace. That just seems so awesome. I know that I'm nowhere near that point. But I'm out to yaknow, kinda figure out who I am and get some solidity in my life. But even that's subject to change. Man, I feel like a walking contradiction. Haha, I guess it's only natural. But it's gonna be fun. I mean I love finding out more stuff about other people, because it's so uncommon that they open up and it's just something that I treasure because I love learning more about other people and learning more about yourself is even more exciting because you're the only one who's ever with you all the time so gotta learn more about yourself, otherwise you're gonna have alot of awkward conversations. (Ok that was a bad joke.)
Anyways, time for a quick little slide into a side topic. A song that a good friend of mine showed me recently has a really deep meaning to me. Well for everybody actually. The first time I listened to it it gave me shivers.
The Motions - Matthew West
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VLJF9vaIJ_0
This might hurt
It’s not safe
But I know that I’ve gotta make a change
I don’t care
If I break
At least I’ll be feeling something
‘Cause just ok
Is not enough
Help me fight through the nothingness of life
I don’t wanna go through the motions
I don’t wanna go one more day
Without Your all consuming passion inside of me
I don’t wanna spend my whole life asking
What if I had given everything?
Instead of going through the motions
No regrets
Not this time
I’m gonna let my heart defeat my mind
Let Your love
Make me whole
I think I’m finally feeling something
It's a Christian song, and I'm not exactly religious but I totally feel what the song is saying. It's hecka easy, specially in the high school days to just fall into a routine and do whatever it takes to just get by so we stay comfortable. It takes effort to step outside our comfort zones, do something we never did before or talk to someone new. But you know what, it makes life that much more worth living. There's another song that my friend gave me that I really really liked.
Life After You - Daughtry
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cvm2OYF2p7E
One line in particular actually. "All that I'm after is a life full of laughter." I like to laugh. I like people who make me laugh. Everything makes me laugh. I laugh at everything, even things that aren't funny, even things that I say. haha that last one is all bad. I like it when I laugh so hard that my abs get a workout. And since I like people that make me laugh, and I laugh at everything, I like everybody. I came up with something clever. check it out. So I think that we should always be laughing because somewhere in the world someone just said or did something funny, and we shouldn't miss out!
Last thing, I think that eating and reading/doing homework at the same time is seriously like the best idea ever because it's like killing two birds with one stone. Which, by the way doesn't even make sense because you couldn't even kill retarded birds with one stone. It would have to be a huge stone. And then you wouldn't be able to throw it. Which makes the whole expression dumb. Ok that is all for now, it is windy, maybe I will be swept up and end up in Kansas.
-E Wang
Used to refer to oneself as speaker or writer.
n. pl. I's
The self; the ego.
"Accept no one's definition of your life. Define yourself." - Harvey Fierstein
That's definitely one of my favorite quotes of all time. And also one quote that I have never ever been able to follow in my life. I feel like I've always been content to be whatever everybody says I am. It hasn't necessarily been bad but it's felt like I've been under restraint. And of my own free will. My own prisoner. But I mean like really, who knows who/what we are? How do we even know who we are? I feel like life's a journey to discover just that. That's why I feel like those really old people are content and at peace when they die. Their journey is through and they've discovered themselves, and now they are at peace. That just seems so awesome. I know that I'm nowhere near that point. But I'm out to yaknow, kinda figure out who I am and get some solidity in my life. But even that's subject to change. Man, I feel like a walking contradiction. Haha, I guess it's only natural. But it's gonna be fun. I mean I love finding out more stuff about other people, because it's so uncommon that they open up and it's just something that I treasure because I love learning more about other people and learning more about yourself is even more exciting because you're the only one who's ever with you all the time so gotta learn more about yourself, otherwise you're gonna have alot of awkward conversations. (Ok that was a bad joke.)
Anyways, time for a quick little slide into a side topic. A song that a good friend of mine showed me recently has a really deep meaning to me. Well for everybody actually. The first time I listened to it it gave me shivers.
The Motions - Matthew West
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VLJF9vaIJ_0
This might hurt
It’s not safe
But I know that I’ve gotta make a change
I don’t care
If I break
At least I’ll be feeling something
‘Cause just ok
Is not enough
Help me fight through the nothingness of life
I don’t wanna go through the motions
I don’t wanna go one more day
Without Your all consuming passion inside of me
I don’t wanna spend my whole life asking
What if I had given everything?
Instead of going through the motions
No regrets
Not this time
I’m gonna let my heart defeat my mind
Let Your love
Make me whole
I think I’m finally feeling something
It's a Christian song, and I'm not exactly religious but I totally feel what the song is saying. It's hecka easy, specially in the high school days to just fall into a routine and do whatever it takes to just get by so we stay comfortable. It takes effort to step outside our comfort zones, do something we never did before or talk to someone new. But you know what, it makes life that much more worth living. There's another song that my friend gave me that I really really liked.
Life After You - Daughtry
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cvm2OYF2p7E
One line in particular actually. "All that I'm after is a life full of laughter." I like to laugh. I like people who make me laugh. Everything makes me laugh. I laugh at everything, even things that aren't funny, even things that I say. haha that last one is all bad. I like it when I laugh so hard that my abs get a workout. And since I like people that make me laugh, and I laugh at everything, I like everybody. I came up with something clever. check it out. So I think that we should always be laughing because somewhere in the world someone just said or did something funny, and we shouldn't miss out!
Last thing, I think that eating and reading/doing homework at the same time is seriously like the best idea ever because it's like killing two birds with one stone. Which, by the way doesn't even make sense because you couldn't even kill retarded birds with one stone. It would have to be a huge stone. And then you wouldn't be able to throw it. Which makes the whole expression dumb. Ok that is all for now, it is windy, maybe I will be swept up and end up in Kansas.
-E Wang
Saturday, January 16, 2010
It's a Juggling Act
I've really been thinking tons about school lately. Now that first semester of my sophomore year is over and finals are gone, I've got a short period to just chill without having to worry about my schoolwork, and it's amazing. As second semester approaches, I give some thought to how I want to do in this next semester. I tell myself that I'm going to bust my ass on every assignment so that by the time the finals come around I won't even have to worry. But then I wonder, don't I always tell myself that? Somehow I still end up with some borderline grades and have to worry about finals. It puzzles me how that tends to be the ending.
School's a juggling act, with all the subjects to learn and study and then get tested on. There's tons to worry about and if you get lazy and start slacking off in a class, dropping the ball, so to speak, it's tough to get it back up. But that's not even the beginning of the difficulty. I'm really not trying to sound cocky or arrogant or conceited, but I know that if I really wanted to, I could have amazing grades every semester. If I dropped everything else and totally dedicated myself to school, it would be a breeze. How come I don't, if it would make so many people, like my parents and..eh, well just my parents happy? I guess it's cus I believe that lives aren't made in school. I mean you're never going to look back 20 years from now and be like oh yeah! I remember all those great chem lectures, or oh yeah, I'm so glad I did all those quote journals for Much Ado About Nothing! Not really. You can always catch up on your school work but you can't catch up on fun. Same thing goes for sleep too, but that's another story.
The difficulty in school lies not in the juggling, school itself, but in juggling while walking a tightrope. All of the time we pour into hanging out, extracurriculars, and just plain screwing around is all time taken away from our school work, making it even harder to keep juggling the balls. Sometimes when we trip up on the tightrope and drop all the balls, it does indeed seem like our lives are spiraling out of control, but it's always been said that man falls to learn how to pick themselves up again.
School's a juggling act, with all the subjects to learn and study and then get tested on. There's tons to worry about and if you get lazy and start slacking off in a class, dropping the ball, so to speak, it's tough to get it back up. But that's not even the beginning of the difficulty. I'm really not trying to sound cocky or arrogant or conceited, but I know that if I really wanted to, I could have amazing grades every semester. If I dropped everything else and totally dedicated myself to school, it would be a breeze. How come I don't, if it would make so many people, like my parents and..eh, well just my parents happy? I guess it's cus I believe that lives aren't made in school. I mean you're never going to look back 20 years from now and be like oh yeah! I remember all those great chem lectures, or oh yeah, I'm so glad I did all those quote journals for Much Ado About Nothing! Not really. You can always catch up on your school work but you can't catch up on fun. Same thing goes for sleep too, but that's another story.
The difficulty in school lies not in the juggling, school itself, but in juggling while walking a tightrope. All of the time we pour into hanging out, extracurriculars, and just plain screwing around is all time taken away from our school work, making it even harder to keep juggling the balls. Sometimes when we trip up on the tightrope and drop all the balls, it does indeed seem like our lives are spiraling out of control, but it's always been said that man falls to learn how to pick themselves up again.
Thursday, January 14, 2010
The Day the Earth (Didn't) stood Still
Seems to me like so far 2010 is a lesson in loss, first on a personal level and now on a global level. A massive 7.0 magnitude earthquake shook the very foundations of Haiti, killing tens of thousands and leaving millions homeless, without water, without food, and possibly injured. Dead bodies pile the streets and blood literally flows into gutters like water. I can't even begin to imagine such a devastated scene. As quick as relief is coming, as a bystander has describes it, “None of this will seem quick enough if you have a loved one who is trapped, if you are sleeping on the streets, if you can’t feed your children.”
Here on the other side of the world I'm sitting here thinking about how tired I am and how I want to get in bed. Funny how insignificant everything suddenly seems. I want to help. I really really do. But it's naive to think that I can make a difference, truthfully. That any of us can make a difference. Sounds kinda pessimistic. Maybe because I'm tired. I guess all we can do really is remain hopeful and pray for them. And again, never hold back on telling someone how much you care about them. Because you never know when your world could be shaken up and everything could be taken away from you. Well, that is all, time to sleep. My heart and best wishes go out to the victims of the Haiti earthquake. Stay strong guys.
Here on the other side of the world I'm sitting here thinking about how tired I am and how I want to get in bed. Funny how insignificant everything suddenly seems. I want to help. I really really do. But it's naive to think that I can make a difference, truthfully. That any of us can make a difference. Sounds kinda pessimistic. Maybe because I'm tired. I guess all we can do really is remain hopeful and pray for them. And again, never hold back on telling someone how much you care about them. Because you never know when your world could be shaken up and everything could be taken away from you. Well, that is all, time to sleep. My heart and best wishes go out to the victims of the Haiti earthquake. Stay strong guys.
Wednesday, January 13, 2010
School(ed) in Rhyme
This here's my little try
A rhyme about school
We say we'd rather die
But without it we're fools
Truth is, school ain't that bad
There we met tons of friends
That otherwise we might'a never had
And we get in on all the trends
But one question I got is why?
Where is all this learning gonna take me, take us?
It takes up so much time
A good enough answer isn't just cus.
This year I met this girl named Pam
She's pretttty cool
As exciting as a BAM!!
This stanza makes me look like a tool.. (KIDDING. hahahaa)
Now for me it's sophomore year
Freshman year passed so fast
Before I know it, graduation will be near
I'm hoping to make it last
In high school we deal with so much crap
Do we really need any of that?
Someone should provide us with a map
To show us the way. STAT.
Alcohol, Smoking, Drugs
Terrible for your body, mind and soul
They aren't a replacement for love, kisses, and hugs
Those people making bad choices, they needa be 'tol.
There so much to deal with in life
We don't always know what to do
One thing's for sure, it doesn't always rhyme
And so be happy with conforming like everyone else, neither should you
As we go through school what we really learn about is our friends, ourselves, and life
Got some encouragement for 20-10, this upcoming year
To stay happy as possible, have fun, try to avoid strife,
Keep your head up, and don't listen to haters, cus they ain't sayin what you wanna hear.
-E. Wang
PS. "Don't waste time being unhappy because you never know who could be fallin' in love with your smile." -E. Wang
^ See what I did there? I took that quote, changed some words, and now it's mine!! Just kidding. That's called plagarism. And I shouldn't do it. Neither should you. Good night
A rhyme about school
We say we'd rather die
But without it we're fools
Truth is, school ain't that bad
There we met tons of friends
That otherwise we might'a never had
And we get in on all the trends
But one question I got is why?
Where is all this learning gonna take me, take us?
It takes up so much time
A good enough answer isn't just cus.
This year I met this girl named Pam
She's pretttty cool
As exciting as a BAM!!
This stanza makes me look like a tool.. (KIDDING. hahahaa)
Now for me it's sophomore year
Freshman year passed so fast
Before I know it, graduation will be near
I'm hoping to make it last
In high school we deal with so much crap
Do we really need any of that?
Someone should provide us with a map
To show us the way. STAT.
Alcohol, Smoking, Drugs
Terrible for your body, mind and soul
They aren't a replacement for love, kisses, and hugs
Those people making bad choices, they needa be 'tol.
There so much to deal with in life
We don't always know what to do
One thing's for sure, it doesn't always rhyme
And so be happy with conforming like everyone else, neither should you
As we go through school what we really learn about is our friends, ourselves, and life
Got some encouragement for 20-10, this upcoming year
To stay happy as possible, have fun, try to avoid strife,
Keep your head up, and don't listen to haters, cus they ain't sayin what you wanna hear.
-E. Wang
PS. "Don't waste time being unhappy because you never know who could be fallin' in love with your smile." -E. Wang
^ See what I did there? I took that quote, changed some words, and now it's mine!! Just kidding. That's called plagarism. And I shouldn't do it. Neither should you. Good night
Monday, January 11, 2010
Saw this somewhere. I liked it.
Aite so it's finals week..so I'm not gonna be sayin much. I was messin around in Chinese class today and I found this quote
"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others."
Think about it
"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others."
Think about it
Thursday, January 7, 2010
Shoot man, this is REAL stuff.
Recently a young man, a former SHS student and part of the music department family, passed away in his sleep. Imagine that. Just falling asleep and never waking up. It seems like this year is a lesson in mortality for me. When I was little, I used to think that me and everyone I knew was gonna live forever. Yeah, I'd hear on the news about how there were accidents and homicides and things like that, but it would never ever happen to people I knew, no, we were all gonna live forever. I'd spend my time making plans for when I grew up. I had to come up with tons and tons of fun and interesting things to do. Because hey, I was gonna live forever, and that meant once I became a millionaire, I was gonna have SO much free time!! And even as I've learned that you don't live forever, it hasn't actually hit me that people die.
If you think about it, we take sooo so much in life for granted. For those of us in the Bay Area, most of us are pretty dang well off. Maybe even spoiled. Like us Saratogans, we live in a very rich and safe city. Nothing bad happens here. But people complain about how it's so boring and they can't wait to get out. We just can't appreciate what we have unless it's taken away from us. The same goes for life itself. There have been billions and billions and billions, countless people that have lived before us. And billions and billions of people have died. Think about how much had to go right for you to get born. You parents had to be born and meet up out of all the people on Earth and their parents had to be born and meet up and the chances of you actually ever existing is miniscule to being with. But a majority of us still go through life making nothing of ourselves. And it's really disappointing. Such a great opportunity, maybe the greatest opportunity ever, gone to waste.
Death does not scare me anymore. I'm fine with dying. The scary part is being gone without getting a chance to tell everybody how much I love and appreciate them. So with that in mind, take time to let those important to you how much they mean to you and how you couldn't do without them. I know it sounds depressing, but you never know when you could go, so don't hold back.
Another thing about wasting your life. Recently I've heard about some friends of mine. Not going to name any names, but I've heard that they all get together and smoke. When I first heard about it, I didn't really believe it, but all I can really say is that I'm really disappointed in them. I've definitely lost a good amount of respect for them. I mean how can that ever turn out to be a good decision? You could say Oh, my friends wanted me to. If your so-called friend wanted you to suck up some powdered garbage and destroy your body, then they sure as hell aren't your friend. Has anyone ever said, Gosh, I'm SO glad I smoked in high school!! Nope. Never. It makes me really sad that people would waste their lives like for for maybe an hours satisfaction. It really doesn't make sense to me at all. Could someone who's an avid smoker pleeeease clarify that for me? Cus it doesn't make any sense. Whatsoever.
If you think about it, we take sooo so much in life for granted. For those of us in the Bay Area, most of us are pretty dang well off. Maybe even spoiled. Like us Saratogans, we live in a very rich and safe city. Nothing bad happens here. But people complain about how it's so boring and they can't wait to get out. We just can't appreciate what we have unless it's taken away from us. The same goes for life itself. There have been billions and billions and billions, countless people that have lived before us. And billions and billions of people have died. Think about how much had to go right for you to get born. You parents had to be born and meet up out of all the people on Earth and their parents had to be born and meet up and the chances of you actually ever existing is miniscule to being with. But a majority of us still go through life making nothing of ourselves. And it's really disappointing. Such a great opportunity, maybe the greatest opportunity ever, gone to waste.
Death does not scare me anymore. I'm fine with dying. The scary part is being gone without getting a chance to tell everybody how much I love and appreciate them. So with that in mind, take time to let those important to you how much they mean to you and how you couldn't do without them. I know it sounds depressing, but you never know when you could go, so don't hold back.
Another thing about wasting your life. Recently I've heard about some friends of mine. Not going to name any names, but I've heard that they all get together and smoke. When I first heard about it, I didn't really believe it, but all I can really say is that I'm really disappointed in them. I've definitely lost a good amount of respect for them. I mean how can that ever turn out to be a good decision? You could say Oh, my friends wanted me to. If your so-called friend wanted you to suck up some powdered garbage and destroy your body, then they sure as hell aren't your friend. Has anyone ever said, Gosh, I'm SO glad I smoked in high school!! Nope. Never. It makes me really sad that people would waste their lives like for for maybe an hours satisfaction. It really doesn't make sense to me at all. Could someone who's an avid smoker pleeeease clarify that for me? Cus it doesn't make any sense. Whatsoever.
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)